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When I began teaching right after college, I had much experience with children, but my degree was in political science. People used to ask me how useful my BA was in kindergarten teaching, I often said: \, I do a lot of conflict resolution.
Since then I have my master s degree in education and my degree in political science was relegated to education for education s love, but the conflict continues to be a big part of my professional life.
Children have conflicts, and one of the most important tasks of childhood is learning to manage conflicts successfully. Ideally, begin training in conflict resolution in preschool or even earlier.
With the right help from parents, can also benefit from pre-verbal children. For teaching conflict resolution to work with children this young, she should be offered within an authentic context.
Information that is relevant and meaningful is always easily learned and understood more deeply. For children who do not have to think abstractly it can not be overstated. It is, therefore, conflict resolution programs that emphasize test various strategies for conflict deescalating may be useful for older children, but would not be appropriate in a pre-school setting.
Fortunately, real life, no shortage of opportunities to practice strategies for dealing with conflict. What are the conflicts faced by children? One of the most common disputes between children is a mutually desired toy.
This can be a toy that legitimately belongs to a child and not to others, or it could be a toy in common, belonging to any family or group. The best parents have high expectations for their children, wanting them to grow up to be kind and generous people.
This legitimate aspiration often leads parents to strongly encourage or force their children to share their toys with others. What many do not realize is that the kindness and generosity necessarily come from a place of safety. Many of us do not find it satisfying to give someone who has just tried to steal some of us, especially something that we attach great value.
But that’s exactly what we expect from our children. Instead of being our son s ally and protector, we miss many times as experience with the child as the aggressor. We fear being perceived as selfish or greedy and strive to make our children act generously. Our response to the conflict have undesirable effect of making our children keep their toys ever tighter.
In fact, they no longer play with toys, but just keep it to make sure that nobody takes it away. Where they will get lost in the game, they are already hyper-vigilant to the ever-present threat of his toys are seized.
Instead of being friendly and welcoming children from their parents would be proud of, who proclaim their ownership of an object when another child approaches. Unfortunately, this defensive attitude needed when there is someone who can defend their rights. These conflicts are often punctuated by bursts of crying, screaming, and grabbing.
Let us first take the situation of two children fighting over a toy that belongs equally to both children. How can we respond in a way that will bring out the species, potential, generous and loving of all children? For the first respecting a child s need to have exclusive use of a toy, until it reached a sense of completion.
When your child is given the freedom to use a toy until you feel ready to move on to something else, so they can loosen the grip on the toy in question. So how can we help resolve the conflict without force children to share? There are some simple strategies that, when practiced over time and with a genuine respect for children s needs, helps children learn to resolve conflicts peacefully.
One of our jobs as parents and teachers is to give children the words they need to use to navigate the world. A useful expression for children to learn is, \; Can I have that when you’re finished? This phrase allows the child to get their needs met directly, but non-confrontational way.
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