Communicating with children – 7 Never Fail Secrets
Let me paint you a picture. You and your teen talk about issues and standards as they come. As for resolving disagreements you, you never fights where one person wins and another loses.
Sound impossible? I raised two children that way and now I I will share seven steps to guide you on the road.
* If you want your child to talk to you, then give him a u200b u200breden to those you trust. Keep your confidence. Ask him if he says that s between the two of you or if it’s good to share with everyone, including family members. To honor his wishes.
* If you listen, there will be 100%. Excluded other thoughts or postpone for later. Let your mind be free to focus on what your teen is communicating – spoken and unspoken. You can have 100% complete, if you hear that voice inside your head tell you about your child or what he says.
Instead, you will actually listen to the words of your son, your emotions and your entire message! Big difference. Big impact for both you and your teen. You must be free of agenda s to be there 100%. You have no idea of u200bu200bwhat your child is about to tell if you have any idea what he wants in the future for you, so ask.
* Ask how your child wants to be heard. He wants an opinion, advice, suggestions, or he just wants to vent? No doubt about it! If you miss, you frustrate him, going in a direction he did not want to go. He can see his attempt to talk to you as a waste of time and decide not to make that mistake again.
* A communication needs, ask questions – not aggressive, the curious, but check-ins to ensure that the message you hear when your child is meant to hear and interpret. Be sure to listen to what your teen means that instead of saying what you want your teenager to say or what you think your teen to say.
Responding to an idea to say something like: \; is true that you can not see if X happens? this is true, he will say yes and if not, he’ll think otherwise. Check again – you want him to understand. If your child sees that you really are available and the attention he can only feel understood – at least at that time.
The more times he feels that way, the more he will talk to you. * Listen without judging. * Listen without expectation. If you have no attachment to what will be said that the result of what you hear, then you are free to watch every word and non-verbal instructions. Take all that information, to check for accurate understanding, then follow with a request to your child as he wants you to hear it.
You young adults to share things that surprise or scare him. He can do for your comment to see – if he can do it because he trusts you enough to be open and honest. Your challenge is to be honest hear. If you’re shocked, actually, is good and wise, so to speak. Note that it is fair to share their feelings about what he said. However, saying that he is wrong or he should have done this or that another judge.
You could follow the opinion with a conviction and a sentence. Such action could cause you to trust that led to his coming to you first to lose. So you’re back to having a teenager who does not speak and loves to fight. Remember that more than one way of doing things and there are more than one solution to every problem.
If your child tells you about something that you do not understand, ask about his thinking that led to this action. Ask as many questions as you need so you can be perspective. Seeing your perspective is different approve or agree with it. On the other hand, you get a new look at the problem. * If your child has something that a law or a rule on your vacation with the family, addressed this issue.
Together, brainstorm for solutions. Give your teen to be responsible for any action he is taking – or not take – in your life. Pretending not to notice unwanted behavior will not disappear. Follow the same brainstorming techniques to deal with these cases. You will be amazed how easy it is to win-win results.
I did not say easy. I just said. Success happens after you do, do, do, until it becomes natural. Yes, this work may take effort and seems to work. Actions and results, desirable u200b u200be undesirable, reflect self-esteem. Behavior change, do not treat the cause of symptoms. What are the hidden thoughts of her teen cost him – and you?
